The pop art princess has been away and getting inked(slowly)

no painting-i know-sux dont it?

several paintings are going into various cafes -tre urban no??

cafes are de riguer in the new art social scene methinks-

5 months and counting on hrt !!and i have had three i.p.l.treatments..ouchies!!

in case you havent heard of these slightly full-on facial hair removal treatments(they aren't to bad but ya know!)im actually quite the chicken with pain.Then again who isnt??oops well there may be some----well we wont go there

ive missed my usual clint postings and others on here miss ya all !!oh ive had some hair extensions too..must put some new pix up for y'all!

especially tallulah and clint!!my spesh ones...thats not forgetting raven and alcy of course..

Victoria on the other hand has undergone immense suffering and deluge of fire the like sthat havent been seen also in like 30 years and lives have been lost due to "firebugs"sick twisted individuals who have basically "killed"200 or more by starting fires>Sorry i dont"get it"think me awful but i would bring back capital punishment for what has happened to whole communities,some totally wiped out ,a sickening black scorched wake and animals people homes,anything in the path of fire has been wiped out,,many survivors are sheltering in "camps"like army barracks but huge amounts of money is pouring in from even the queen of england and theres a wiff of K-BAG (kylie minogue)perhaps gracing us with her presence for  a charity gig,geesh they should just donate a couple of million and be done with it!celebs love a good cause dont they??hark back to sean penn falling in the waters of hurriane katrina and generally annoying folks that were trying to help people.I find that when im so safe,secure and lucky to be with a computer my books art and music etc that theres people who have lost literally everything if not a family member or friend and or lover.M heart goes out to people who needlessly have to suffer for some sickos lighting fires.

rain

rain

rain....north queensland australia is awash.Too much rain leaves me tired and glum,but ho im back on the internet,oh cyber queen ,goddess of the great link,mistress of anonymity,king of masks.Apart from that florid intro im back and hopefully painting again.No canvas's you see.Money-moola is lacking rather largely.

well one must not complain,oh what's new??well i had my first ipl treatment(intense pulse light) at first the practitioner asked 'are you nervous""i replied"should i be"??lo and behold i was beside myself once it started.The initial shock was alarming.Intense is right!!hot hot!!but the heat quickly subsided but i was given a ball to clench(yea that's how much it hurt sometimes)

Of course all this is for a hair-free face,all in order to become more"feminine"it's al so subjective isnt it?/yet its the main thing that stands out as female-male.facial hair is not de riguer for 'female"lol.well maybe for some overly masculine italian women living in my home town.Monkey women some of 'em.Mean??no just bitchy,Ok that said,i am aware that certain factions do not take kindly to people being honest and say what they feel on here,i find it odd,its all so boringly generic at times.If you dare to have a gripe youre a "hater'or you're just ignored.I booted some people off my 'friends"list ,after all its just their egos gettin'off right??it does nothing for me to have no interaction whatsoever with most onmy list

Gawd i must be tired,i keep waing up 'round 6 am heaven knows why.Ok i do im back at my folks and its not as easy as i supposed,financially its a boon but otherwise my folks are light years away,its funny when you cannot even converse on matters that simply"wont do"i mean im transitioning and already my breasts are growing yet im supposed to "hide"and not talk about it????i know im sacrificing self for financial aid and shelter.Big trade off beleive me when you lose yourself alittle to stave off any arguments.Odd time for me,so much emotion and sense of guilt right now at not"achieving"

I'm reading the life of jackie sussan the writer of"valley of the dolls'and its inspiring,she always wanted to be 'somebody"and leave her mark,make money too of course and by 47 she was a hit and rich.So i still have a few years to "get there"right???

Honestly when depression and newly acquired mood swings drop in my comfort is my books.Thats where i can truly live and immerse myself.For on the outside my household is silent except for the every-day .So im really going ahead and learn about writing and so forth.give it a go.Theres a story in me by golly gosh.Now theres grammar and oh so much i need to re-learn.Uterly hopeless at that.Maybe is all those speed pill addled years that finally fried my brain.

p.s.im sure il be fine after a valium.valley of the dolls much?

now i wonder what clint is up to???

What i really came to the realisation is that 11 years ago on new years eve day i met my soulmate and tho hes no longer my "other-half"i had wished and prayed fro him and lo and behold i got him(the price was high)another story entirely)but i cant help still feeling a twinge of something fro him.odd???and now that new years eve is upon me i have that little twinge in my soul for richard and still think on him.More to the point ive been single for 10 years!crazy shit!cannot beleive (apart from some sex)that i have been relationship-void for a decade!omg.well,heres to a new year and a new beginning.That tall dark hnadsome stranger is out there,only now ill be able to attract him as i become happier and shine from within.Erk i sound like cotton-candy-louise l hay-esque.gross!but you get my drift dontcha???well,time for another doctors apointment to see how my levels are doing and then off for a coffee at my local cafe'

a big hello to alcy and tallulah.two fine ladies on here that make my day.

now wheres clint ???/i hope he accepts my call soon.no im not a stalker!i assure you!!!!!!!!love and kisses.princess paul.

These in-between states can be life affirming or life-damaging.Strength has always been something ive acknowledged,simple survival through consuming books music art conversation and trying to be "someone"and now i find myself  in limbo.man-woman-gay-trans....what the???and through all this silence within is the fact i feel "homeless"this is not so of course,i count myself fortunate to have a home a sit were yet i came back to my unit today half emptying and was consumed with such dread,it is frightfull to be nearly forty (beleive me)and knowing im on teh right path but no money and little chances in small town.Court case looming over a hideousl landlord and i feel totally alone.Thats when i come to the journal and pour out whatever comes forth,i will probably never be a "writer"but its what we write not how ??is it??imnever sure,im sure both are correct.All i know is silence is not golden ,it just strangles and stifles thought and discourse,that old adage that its best"not to ruffle feathers"i always raved and threw my lot in and made noise yet im silent and im ashamed.Do we need to be silent sometimes???is it a survival instinct?all i know is im at my pc desk(retro of course)its a small retro desk with a mac keyboard and a pc ...yea eclectic bitch aren't i??The power to survive and conquer is something a lot of people take for granted and something which im very conscious of in this life.The small i talked about???these too can be a comfort,even dreams and wishes ,these too keep alive the lind and give hope.From the desk of "princess paul'i bid you good night and tho'new year looms nigh im lonely as shite.For the moment my 'small"things keep me company....my books my surroundings.i always try to seek beauty and just linger in it..whether thats a song on my i-pod or a rainy night such as tonight.My headphones are on and blaring kylie!!ya i know..a mass of contradictions.

ya know who you are,

alcy above all keeps me company..if i come across self indulgent or slefish please forgive.im an artist ,are we not supposed to be selfish pogs??????????????well.no but ...sometimes we are all self indulgent ,if we were'nt we would not survive.

whatever happens i hope that.HOPE yes that word!hope keeps me going